?

Log in

Sep. 25th, 2006 @ 08:25 am (no subject)
Dad and I had a spontaneous conversation about the importance of good parenting yesterday. Like most important conversations I've had lately, it took place on the playground. No kidding. You can see the proof of good or bad parenting on the playground I've decided. Good parents are there on the playground with their kids. Even if all they do is sit on a bench and wave back when their child shouts from the top of the slide, "Hey Mom, look at me!" they are still there. The bad parents are no where to be seen, and usually their kids are the ones who ruin the playground experience for every else. Anyway, my dad and I both agreed that parenting is hard, probably the hardest thing anyone will ever do, if it's done right. Good parenting requires a denial of self that not many people are comfortable with. Children just want to be loved. Unconditionally. Cliched? Yes, but true non-the-less. And true love means putting other people first, putting your child first. Now, this doesn't mean giving a child everything they ever wanted, or do everything for them. Isn't that a form of idolatry? Isn't that a form of neglect? A parent's job is preparing a child to survive in the world on their own, teaching them to fish rather than doing the fishing for them or so the often quoted antedote goes.

Okay, so I am not a perfect parent, nor do I want to be one. But I do want to be a good parent. Why? Because when Ethan is 31, I want to spend moments with him like the moment I spent with my dad yesterday. My parents aren't perfect, but they are good, and everything I learned about parenting I learned from them. And even though parenting is hard, what they did for me is so simple. They were just there. When I stood at the the top of all the slides in my life, real or metaphorical, they were there to wave back. They loved me for who I was, unconditionally, and I never questioned that. (Of course, I never tested the limits of that, but why ruin a good thing by being an ass, right?)

And I had to write something, because I love my Dad and all the small moments I get to spend with him.
About this Entry
books
[User Picture Icon]
From:tbone
Date:September 25th, 2006 03:09 pm (UTC)
(Permanent Link)
This is a great post. I think I know some of the playground behavior you are talking about-- we saw some of that ourselves this weekend. You (and your dad) are both awesome.
[User Picture Icon]
From:aplaceinthefrog
Date:September 25th, 2006 05:11 pm (UTC)
(Permanent Link)
What a lovely post, and so true!
[User Picture Icon]
From:_absolutely
Date:November 29th, 2006 09:15 pm (UTC)
(Permanent Link)
hello! i wanted to invite you to join this new community i made especially for moms in idaho.

idahomama

come on over and check it out. it's pretty new so there aren't a lot of members yet, but you can help with that!

thanks for checking it out. :)
jen
[User Picture Icon]
From:jeffholton
Date:June 6th, 2007 07:37 pm (UTC)
(Permanent Link)
Apropos of nothing to do with this post, I'm thinking of adding you to my friend's list. I actually just found you a moment ago through your husband who responded to a post of mine on free_assoc_tag, but I notice that you and my wife have a friend in common (and my gosh what she's gone through this year!), and you like gyros.

That's just too wacky to be coincidence, y'know? I mean, who in MY life has friends in common with my wife and LIKES gyros??!

...Oh...wait...I married a Greek. Everyone in my life has that. Ok, never mind...

Besides, posts like this one make me think that, like, you're a real person who thinks things through and takes life and people seriously and compassionnately. I like that. It's good for me.
[User Picture Icon]
From:gromko
Date:June 18th, 2007 07:11 am (UTC)
(Permanent Link)
A weird string of coincedences, indeed. The friend in common, the gyros, not to mention the fact that you went to school in Fresno, CA, and I was born in Fresno, CA. Plus, I hardly ever log into Livejournal. So, if you want you can add me as a friend, and I'll do the same :). If you want, that is.
[User Picture Icon]
From:jeffholton
Date:June 18th, 2007 02:24 pm (UTC)
(Permanent Link)
Done!

Course, if you don't log on very much, I may never notice. But all the same, done!

:)

Welcome.

Born in Fresno. Wow. Poor thing.

"Where are YOU from?"

"Fresno."

"Where??"

"Fres... Never mind."

;)